the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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