You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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