I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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