I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize