Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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