Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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