i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I pour the whiskey from now on
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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