i already hear my dad disowning me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
