The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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