Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
