i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
