Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had sex on a dog bed..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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