I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize