Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize