My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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