Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
