You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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