why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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