Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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