GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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