I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
