Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize