That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
