I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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