Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
