I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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