And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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