He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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