They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize