So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When are your genitals available?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize