I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
