; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize