I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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