Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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