Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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