after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
