I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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