the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
