she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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