its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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