I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize