$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
