For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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