there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
