You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize