physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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