What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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