i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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