i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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