hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
