Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize