i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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