it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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