i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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