We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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