I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
