Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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