Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize