BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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